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By Amy Willis. Older, single women often deny themselves any chance of finding happiness by failing to downgrade their expectations, says author Lori Gottlieb.

Women are being fooled by happily-ever-after films, programmes and books - from Friends and Jane Austen novels - into believing marriage is about finding The One. Gottlieb also claims women's search for Mr Right could leave them unhappy and alone in the long-term as they shun perfectly good partners.

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How long should you wait for Mr Right? Miss Gottlieb, a year-old single mother, writes from her own experiences, saying she wished she had settled for Mr Second Best.

She said: "My dream, like that of my mother and her mother, was to fall in love, get married and live happily ever. So we walked away from uninspiring relationships that might have made us happy.

She added: "Every woman I know — no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure — feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried. Gottlieb also suggests that marriage to someone who may seem like Mr Right could even be less successful.

But Lancaster University Psychologist Professor Cary Cooper said women unable to find their dream man should not see themselves as settling for second best. He said: "No man or woman has all the characteristics you would look for; it would be a miracle to find your Number One.

The main problem is that many people haven't worked out what those characteristics are. He added: weat sometimes wonder if women who say they are waiting to find Mr Right, are actually just avoiding a relationship or committing to a relationship.

Finding someone should not be so complicated.

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Saturday 09 November Stop looking for Mr Right and look for Mr Right Now, author tells women Women who have failed to find their perfect partner by the age of 30 should give up their search for Mr Right and fargl instead fo Mr Right Now, a leading American author has claimed. Related Articles.

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